Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
