Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize