yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
