Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
