What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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