I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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