I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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