Will you blow on my dice?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
