like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
