My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
