she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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