When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this just has baby written all over it
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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