Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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