Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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