EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
