you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
