drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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