just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
