She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
