Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
