I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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