You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
