The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
