Sponge bath it is.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
