Girls should come with a carfax report
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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