5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
