What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
