you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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