..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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