girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
