im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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