"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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