i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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