in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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