where am i from again
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
