it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
