please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
