i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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