Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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