remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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