drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
