Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
