Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
