Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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