don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Blood and glitter go together right?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
