every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
