So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
