this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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