you have to choose: penises or morals?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
