Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
