I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
