True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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