Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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