She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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