Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
