Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
