Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
