Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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