I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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