My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
