I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
