Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
