Nicole vs. Life
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
