Fuck appropriateness.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
