can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize