You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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