Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
