The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
