Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
