i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
