She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize